Untitled

It’s Friday night, or Saturday morning; it’s all the same bag of shit. Originally plans of a well deserved rest starting around 9pm were suggested. Internally I was not ready for sleep. A great amount of restlessness was still rolling around in my gourd, so all intentions had been lost. The alarm next to me now read 1:45am an unnerving sight as I was to be at work in less than 4 hours. My determination towards much of anything had recently fallen by the way side. A break is needed from my drab repetitively routine, money hungry life. The beginnings of a new semester; a rather minor yet momentous occasion in which, I will take part in “higher” education. The taste of beer and cigarettes once again tempted my senses, lack of freedom, and my parents roof wearing me thin were all reminding me that summer is much less of a vacation than I had remembered as a child. It could be the details of uncertainty that rattled my brain. The rest of my life ahead of me, and distractions amass my post-teen existence. My days of irresponsibility have passed, and thoughts of the future must now be accommodated. It has become a cumbersome burden now, a stress and an unpreventable necessity. This year being the first to affect my life, details of future plans were slowly being poured out, like an icy pitcher of water, I was slowing drowning. Deviating from my original plans, those that wouldn’t provide financial independence, but free my mind. The path I approach now will allow fiscal stability, but will I soon become a sheep? The determining factors of my education were now coming down to my ability to reform to the point of wearing a suit and a tie every day. My inability to picture myself in anything more than business casual was causing me to become nauseous at this approaching realization. What happened to the days of free thought in technology? Jobs and Wozniak had poked fun at the white collar worker, those who were led like sheep by a shepherd at their IBM desk jobs. I idolize the original faces of Apple, the free spirits whom shook the world with their ideas of a consumer brand of computing, the distribution of power by providing an in home outlet for people to explore that which once was only housed in large office buildings, and rooms the size or gymnasiums. They took a different path and by doing so changed the world, allowing it to spin faster. Their dreams were not based around a suit and tie, but a t-shirt, black turtleneck, and a simple pair of faded blue jeans. These were the men who allowed the world to change. Not the sheep, nor the shepherd, but the wolf, barking and biting until the world of private technology became public, and the personal computer had become their well deserved meal.